Mind blurt!

            I don't really think people understand. I am so serious when I say "My husband makes me a better person". Just tonight we were laying in bed and we talked about how our little peanut is like a jack. He likes to lay between us in bed and slowly throughout the night will turn sideways and spread out pushing us further apart. We had a giggle together at the thought of how this little person takes up the WHOLE bed. He then goes, "its your fault" Not that we mind in the least that he sleeps in our bed, we actually go get him out of his bed and make him sleep with us sometimes, because as much of a comfort it is for him, it is for us as well. But I had to correct my husband. The truth is, its his fault. Sebastian is used to sleeping with us due to the fact that the first straight year of his life he slept in our bed with us. I nursed him, and never forced him to night ween so even at night he would still nurse. So naturally its his comfort zone to still come in our bed and snuggle with his mom the same way he did all his life. 

                                                                        

                So where am I going with this? I look at the way I do things now, and the person I am, the mom I have become, and I smile, because if it weren't Cody standing beside me, I would not even think to nurse, to be more natural in life's experiences. I talk to people all the time who ask me where I'm delivering my baby...I tell them at home. Almost every response is "aren't you scared, I would be." So I in turn ask them, well where are you delivering, and I get the usual response of some hospital with some doctor or midwife that they chose to go to that worked at that hospital. Well, in my experience, its not the four walls around you who is going to encourage you, hold your hand (not that most doctors care to either), and ultimately put your baby on your chest and congratulate you! Its the midwife, or whom ever you decide to catch your baby. My trust is in my amazing midwife Kelly McDermott. Whether I delivered home, hospital, car, or god forbid on the ground outside, I fully trust her. I delivered my son at a hospital, and the hospital aspect is what made it less of a experience for me, but the hospital was chosen based on my midwife, and where she delivered. Now my midwife does home births, which is like heaven to my ears. Who doesn't want to be in their own comfortable bed, with their own yummy food, and be able to say when visiting hours are over? With the added bonus of not having some person come and tell you that its time for your baby to do this and that, and then they cart them away, and act annoyed when you tag along! The other phrase that floors me is "are you using the drugs?" or "oh yeah I'm deff getting the drugs" ...what...that phrase gets me everytime. Now why on earth would someone not see something wrong with that. It honestly makes me feel like some pot dealer will be in the room with me, or some sketchy person with a coat full of "the hook up". Its just odd sounding. But if my husband never said he didn't want me to take any, I probably would have done what alot of people do,

 birth = epidural. They don't even know if its going to be too much for them, they just assume from everyone else its going to be needed. I hate when people right off tell a new mom "your going to want the epidural" or "drugs are your friend"...Everyone is different, most people who get the epidural out of fear, or used to hearing everyone else got it, probably could have done it without. I have a very small pain threshold, I've never had stitches, broke a bone, or anything serious...a paper cut and I cry for days about it. I didn't take the "drugs" and my son was a hefty guy and I'm only 5'2 pushing out a big headed 9lb 6.5 oz first timer baby! I felt so powerful doing this, I'm proud of that. It goes in the book of my life accomplishments!

              However, if it weren't for Cody, I probably would fall victim to the same routine as everyone else, without even a thought weather there were other options. I would not even think to breastfeed, I would just assume formula was what was best for us, and not even look into anything else. I would have forced my baby into a crib at a early age, because its what everyone else does, they don't co-sleep. I would just shove this and that into my son, just because its what goes on around me, cause it would be all I know. I will say this alot...EDUCATION is the key. It really is. I listen and absorb a lot that goes on around me, I spend days googling and reading articles and watching clips on all sorts of different things. It helps me make better choices for myself and my family and what does work for us. Cody grew up very different from me..when I think of his life its like something out of like Little house, or some old movie. At first, I thought his family and their ways of doing things was weird. I now find myself doing a lot...not all...but a lot of the things that I once looked at as odd. They were very natural, bought odd pure ingredients, and used more natural approach to health care. Holistic is the word.  Not everything works for everyone, but I'm so glad that I ended up with my husband because I feel like I care more about things that some people don't even second guess if that would be what they would choose if they knew a different route to take. I think of life as a gps...sometimes it shows me routes I never knew about, and other times I see which routes its takes to get to a destination I already know how to get to, just to see if it works better, or is faster. Or  I take the route I know would work better for me. We can hear advice, but we don't always have to take it, but we should atleast consider it, because maybe its something we would prefer.

Breath it in!

Tomorrow is never promised. I already know that. But I'm looking too forward to it I refuse not to day dream about it! Yes it is St. Patrick's Day, but my 8 month pregnant self isn't looking forward to the ice cream alone! It is said to be mid 50's , mostly sunny, and it has a promise of some very much needed family time outdoors! Being cooped up in this house with a toddler and being pregnant, and it too cold to so much as crack a window has made me a psycho. I'm surprised my marriage survived my rages this winter, my poor Husband. Yesterday was a beautiful day too, however it was lacking in the family department. My husband was at work, the only way to "connect" him was to send texts of my son and I walking around, which was probably more of a tease to him.        

I don't feel very pretty lately, the feeling is more of a oompa loompa. If you have been pregnant before you probably know the feeling. But when we are walking around and theres sun warming our noses, and fresh air filling our lungs, I feel beautiful! The little chuckles, and "whats that" or "woooow" that comes from my heart that is riding in the stroller, makes me feel like I'm dreaming. When we walk past other pavement smackers and my husband gives his "man" nod, I smile in aww of how amazing he is. He holds my hand while still pushing along the stroller, and juggles between his coffee as well. He LIGHTS up when were outside. Not from the sun, but that smile, that blood pumping, head spinning smile, it completely melts me. He is very very much a outdoor guy, and he loves to share it with us! Tomorrow, is going to be our start of summer, even though it is spring, it will feel like summer to me!

I encourage all of you to try and get out tomorrow. If you don't live close to a town to walk around, then drive to one. When you think of some of your memories from childhood, they probably aren't of sitting inside playing games, because thats not memorable, it didn't excite you any different than any other day most likely. So give your children, dogs, spouse, or even just yourself the memory of walking around taking in all the different people, the sounds of birds returning, the sound of water flowing, the smell of fresh air. Read a book on a bench, go visit the ducks, get a cup of some wonderful beverage you haven't had in a while and take in the best day you can, take in this wonderfully naturally beautiful, and naturally entertaining earth! You will feel accomplished with your day!

"Advancements"?????

I am completely outraged by the way things have "advanced" in america. From medicine to meat to overall attitude. Can I just buy a slab of meat without wondering how dry it is going to make my skin, how full of toxic waste it is. We in america have a problem; we create a problem and try to fix it before there even is one. Why were antibiotics made? To help sick get better. Not to assume someone is going to get sick, so we just jump ahead and decide to give it to every child, cow, chicken, and pig. Well if we cared more about the animals, and cleaned up their living quarters and allowed them to live like normal cows should, then we wouldn't have to worry about them all getting sick. Today everything is over pumped full of chemicals and most people just are used to it that they see nothing wrong with it. Well I do. Eczema for one has gotten so out of hand...like every child has it. Maybe if their food wasn't deprived of natural oils, and replaced with growth hormones, our children wouldn't suffer dry itchy skin and early menstruation. Another "advancement" in medicine...the birthing world. Like HOLY COW! You can now schedule a C-section, and a tummy tuck, back to back in some areas. Whens your due date? "Oh its whenever I decide that Its convenient to me to rip my baby from the womb, not when the baby is done getting ready for life on the outside" What the hell is wrong with people. Yes for some, it is needed and for those who need a EMERGENCY c-section, Im thankful they have that option. However, its not always a emergency. Maybe if from the get go, you decided not to interfere with the body's natural response to labor, you wouldn't require such serious surgery. And that is what it is...its serious. You are slicing into your body, through whatever is in the way, intestines...what ever...and people don't realize this. I hate a person who says "oh yeah Im getting the epidural" Why, because you are going in with a preconceived notion that it is needed. NO it isn't, and it should only be available if the occasion for it should arrive. I tell people this. Don't say you don't want it, but don't say you do. No one is super woman, but wait for the need for it to come, it probably never will.  By going in there ready for the epidural, you are basically signing up for mounds of other interventions you never even realized. Such as PITOCIN. Good luck with that one. Thought you would be in pain before? Try it now... So due to increased contractions lasting longer and more fierce, you end up upping your epidural...which slows labor again...which then ups your pitocin...which by now the baby is being stressed out by the lack of oxygen it is getting and the constant squeezing and pressure from longer lasting and harsher contractions...Oh now you need a "emergency" c-section for the baby's safety. Well, almost certainly never would have been needed if you didn't start a intervention in the first place. We in america live by "newer is better" well no, no it is NOT. Yes some advancements and changes are nice to have, such as the seatbelt, and the telephone. But there is a sense of entitlement to control every thing in life that we are losing out on the most important of all...the entitlement to the most pure and natural way of things. It is empowering listening to your body guide you through the most important and most accomplishing moment in life, and people just give that away so they can make the vacation in Hawaii. I feel bad for the moms who do NEED to have a c-section and would much rather have the opportunity to deliver naturally. I feel bad for the cow sitting in between bars not even able to clean themselves, being force fed crap. I feel bad for the people who don't care to think if what they are doing, or eating, or proposing is really the best choice for themselves. I think the only way to care enough about yourself is to care enough to educate yourself on what really happens behind closed doors...the doors to surgery, the doors to your womb, the doors to the factory houses that we buy our meats from. The best existence is pure existence....NATURAL!