Conformity!

I came across a blog today. It was about a book, The giver, I have never read this book, but the person shared what the basis of it was. About conforming, and if you had the option to show people other ways of living would you, or just keep them blind. There was then a discussion forum. It really made me think.....

I think we already live in a world very close to that. I think alot of people are extreme conformists! But the silly thing is that they once changed from what was the normal to what we do today, and are afraid to go back. The world then uses tv to scare them not to change, or magazines. In my example....homebirths. A woman used to birth in their home with the village around her for support, and a midwife. The village would then bring her dinners and help her through her healing. However, now we all know the hospital is considered the normal, and most wont even open their mind and close their mouth long enough to even consider. How did we ever steer away in the first place? On top of that, the rise in homebirths has caused a stir. There was a article that someone dear to me called me worried about. A homebirth in which a mom developed a infection and ended up getting limbs amputated. While I listened, and assured them I was no more worried than if I did a hospital birth, I snickered. Nosocomial infections...most of us know of, and its even taught in nursing school, are common! And some with the same or worse or not as bad outcomes. So right next to that could be a million articles about the same things happening in the hospitals! Its all about marketing. And when there is a trend happening that is starting to worry people trying to keep things the conformed way they have become, they pull out anything to try and scare people back into their pen. Just like the Hillary Duff episode of Law & Order. They used a celebrity, in which most new moms today grew up watching, to draw attention to the episode, took a truly tragic real life story and twisted it around to scare people about vaccinations. But the child in the story who "spread" the measels could have been a vaccinated child as well! Its all pretty silly. Dear god people, if you take one thing from me...don't conform, educate. Do what you want, know your options, and know the real, full truth about everything! Make informed choices, not just the ones a pediatrician said was right, because they grew up the same way. Look into things yourself and then decide.

Four Quarters

     I was parked outside of a laundromat waiting on my husband to come out of the local Stewarts with some milk and juice. I was looking around and noticed a man, not in too good of shape, but not too bad either. He walked up to the garbage opened it and peeked in. He pulled out a brown bag looked inside and, "click click click", I locked my doors. He didn't find any food in the bag so he just put it back in and sat at the bench. I watched him for a second to see what he was going to do. Nothing...just sat there. Well it was about 6pm. I knew the second my husband came out of the store with our beverages, the man would approach him for money. Sure enough he did. However, we don't carry cash, nor do we have much to spare, we are a single income family who have to budget wisely, in which with my chocolate cravings and gas prices has not been so easy lately! I unlocked the door for my husband to put his beverages down and he went inside to grab our laundry. We didn't say a word. When he came back I asked him "did he ask you for money?" and he replied yes of course. I told him hes probably just hungry. We sat there for a second. My husband reached in his bag and grabbed out a 1/2 gallon of his apple juice and got out of the car. I watched him walk over to the man and hand it to him. It then occurred to me that we hesitated at first. We almost didn't care! I even locked my doors. I think that is where the problem is at. Now don't get me wrong everyone has their own lives, but too many people would look at that man and just not care. They would rather pass judgement on them "go get a job" or "how did you end up this way anyway" or "they probably would buy beer". I too have had these thoughts before. However, we don't know his story. He could have had a job, a home, food, but he might have lost it and then everything else. He could not even like alcohol. He is probably wishing he had a job. A person would rather walk by and ignore him, not care that he might be going hungry for the third day in a row. I wish I had atleast a dollar to hand this man. Just FOUR quarters! But I had just put mine in the washing machine. When we drove away I felt like I should have done more, I wish I could have done more. I was so proud that my husband went back over to him and gave him some of what we had, without saying anything mean to the man, just wishing him luck. We need more people to care. If you think about it, how many times have you spent tons of money on pointless things? So passing a buck to this person would probably feel better than buying that cheeseburger that your not even hungry for, but are just bored and figured you'd eat something. I have decided to try and always have a dollar on me....in any way, bill or change, help is help, and if you reached out for it, you would hope someone would care too.

Reflections

I layed in the bottom of my bathtub trying to fit the both of us comfortably. The only way was quite ironic, I found myself leaned back with my knees up...for those of you who cant picture what Im saying...I was in the basic lying down position that most associate with labor. I giggled to myself, and I think the baby understood we were having a moment as it traced its little leg across my stomach. I am just about 4 weeks away from D-Day. Delivery day :) I, like anyone else, am nervous, excited, anxious...and all the feelings that go along with it, even though I have already had a child, no two births or babies are alike. I have fear again about the "unknown" of how this one will feel, how this one will go. I refuse to believe it will be the same, however I do have hopes it will follow very closely. My son was quite a simple birth, not too much pain, still enough to make me think if this was a all day affair no way could I do this naturally. I even said to my midwife at one point that "I couldn't do this"..In the sense of all day! Her reply was "Honey your already doing it" She then would squeeze back onto my hand while I squeezed hers to get through the next contraction. I was in a tub then as well... About 2 1/2 hours after I arrived at the hospital, in a sense of "really..already time to push" I was pushing out my son. I remember only being on the bed for about 30 mins or so and he was being lifted on to my chest. All 9lbs 6.5 oz of him. It was a amazing day. My favorite, I turned to my husband instantly who was standing by my head staring in awe and amazement and I just simply said "I love you!" So today, as I layed in my own tub, rubbing my watermelon belly with the shower raining down on us, I thought of that day. I was trying to picture what it would look like the exact moment I lift my baby out of the water and pull them close to my chest. I reflected on how Sebastian looked, of course gray, with big eyes and a nice size head. Little nose, little arms, and I put my hand right over his little butt and just held him close. I will get to feel that all again soon. I don't know if it was hormones but at that moment I had to sing, I sang to my new little bean "silent night" I always found it comforting and use it to sing to my son when he's being fussy about nap time. I got choked up. I for one don't have a good voice, but it was even soothing to me to be singing that song and hearing it along with the patter of the water on my skin, the kicking and stretching of the baby that layed nuzzled close to my heart in my belly, and it just made me feel ready. I wanted to meet this baby right then. I wanted to hold them in my arms and kiss their little forehead. I imagined what Sebs face would be when he gets to finally see the baby that over the past few months has taken so much of my lap room! As I sat there in my haze of past and future, I realized that its going to be two completely different experiences. For one my son I gave birth to in a hospital, and ultimately delivered on the bed. This baby is going to be my first homebirth, and will most likely be a waterbirth. However, I realized that the feelings I had going into my first birth I still have for this one as well, and I most likely will have the same feeling of unbelievability, accomplishment, happyness, love, closeness and all the emotions that come with giving birth. It then struck me, that in just 4 short weeks that previously seemed forever away, I will be reflecting back again, at that moment when baby number 2 entered this world. And then again at each birthday party, I will reflect. I then got out of the tub, and walked past my mirror and stopped and stared at the reflection in it and smiled. Who knew that a simple bathroom could be the portal to your inner thoughts and feelings, and ironically on my walk out it reminded me with that reflection of my own face, to come back anytime I want to reflect.